I decided to use this platform to start a self-love series. As a fashion& style writer and blogger, I am constantly in one media or another doing research, reading other people’s content, looking for inspiration, bench marking and what not.
This means that most of my free time is spent online. I wouldn’t even say free time, simply most of my time.
What this also means is that I get to read and see a lot. I realized that self-love is a struggle. Most of us have had a fair share of the journey, sadly some of us still do. As a fashion blogger, I feel somewhat responsible for pushing on the society’s standard of perfection.
And while it comes from a good place, and just love for fashion and style generally, I also feel it is my responsibility to balance that out.
We live in a society that hypes achievement so much, that we young people feel compelled to reach those heights with quickest way and shortest time possible, or we will just feel left behind. Like the pressure is too much to an extent you board ship not knowing where you are going, just so the ship does not sail without you. Your destination? You will figure it out along the way.
But the most significant pressure comes from the standard of beauty.
There is the perfect nose that will determine whether you are beautiful or not, there is a certain skin color that automatically disqualifies you from being beautiful unless you have that “unique” feature, Don’t be skinny, don’t be fat, You can’t be that and be beautiful. Unless you are confident enough to do something extra that will land you a spot in a magazine, or a meme on Instagram, Then you become BBW.
If you are not strutting the runway, honey you have no business being skinny. “bones are for dogs”
We fixate on what society deems as “perfect” because the media (TV, Magazines & Newspapers) constantly bombards and reinforces images glorifying plastic beauty and extravagance that gives us the notion of a “perfect existence” kind of life.
What this does, is that it feeds the deepest insecurities in ourselves and makes us believe there is something wrong with us. I mean we’ve equated a “perfect butt” with a “perfect woman”. Are we serious?
I hope this series will help young people especially young girls who are going through self-doubt, and insecurities. Self-love is not narcissism, it is not cockiness neither is it pomposity.
This series is not meant to help you learn to love and accept yourself as you are; it is to remind you there was nothing wrong with you in the first place.
It is also not meant to encourage stagnancy and less self-drive, it is meant to encourage you to work at your own pace, to seek to improve yourself where you deem necessary, it is to nudge you to strive for happiness and good health without societal pressure.
It is to remind you to plan for the future, but also enjoy the here and now. To be present, to be aware of who you are and to be ok with that, to build yourself up, to come home to yourself, to not forget you while you are too busy trying to change yourself to seek praise and validation.
I hope this series helps you realize that you are a Working progress and eventually helps you balance external expectations with the reality of your humanity. And I hope that you never forget that you are yours first, before you are anyone else’s.
AS I Began To Love Myself
Charlie Chaplin
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.
As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!
If you would like to contribute to this series by sharing a piece either yours or someone else’s or you would simply like to share your self-love journey or experience, kindly send an email to: fashion@eleksie.co.ke
Photography: Jim Skyz
Outfit (socks): Funky Socks ke
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