These trends need to go. I need them to fizzle out as fast they were conceived. And while some of these trends have not been adopted in Africa, I will mention them anyway. We all know how the fashion virus spreads.
Before anyone gets in their feelings, here is a disclaimer; I’m all about expressing yourself. “Comfort is king, as well as our dominant form of expression.” This is just my opinion. If you love them, good for you. As for me they are trash.
Y’all need to stop with the diapers and chicken legs. Don’t come for me because I don’t have a big butt ok? We all love them big. But this craze of big booties is becoming harmful and dangerous to young girls who feel the pressure to get big bootays at any cost.
If you can afford to have it done properly then go for it. “Your body is your business” but just make sure you don’t meet the “Toxic Tush” doctor who will use Super Glue, combined silicone, mineral oil, cement and Fix-a-Flat tire sealant. Please don’t die trying to puff your behind, spare us that sagging mess and your family from an embarrassing mourn.
The weird Af eyebrows
Squiggle, wavy, braid, lightning bolts, Nike swoosh, rainbows, McDonald’s arches and any other brow trend you are thinking of introducing right now, issa no. I understand that everyone wants to bring something to the table. Introduce some sort of trend, but I need y’all to take it a notch down. Some of us are still struggling to get our brows right.
Less is more doesn’t mean you keep bringing more. I appreciate the art, and if used for artistic purpose am all for it. But what we will not have is women walk around with faces that we can’t figure out.
Throw that extra ‘ish’ in the trash.
Weird tools and objects in make up
These beauty gurus will kill us one day. I have seen it all. Knives used for winged liner, forks to contour, spoons, stilettos and even condoms. Yes you read that right. I am not making this up. Blending with a condom covered makeup sponge. Cringy! Applying makeup is already a part time job with all the work that people have to put in it trying to get it right. It’s daunting.
We appreciate the hacks you come up with. But some of them are extra af! How do you even start experimenting with some of these stuff? And in come the beauty brands with their bizarre products. Like the vibrator beauty blender.
Can we stick to using simple brushes and wands? Is it still possible to achieve impeccable makeup with these?
Distressed? More like destroyed. I’d really like to think someone’s fish nets got ripped and she walked on strutting and some girl somewhere thought it was a fashion statement. I mean I could google how they came to be, but I want to stick with my theory because these are atrocious.
Who rips fish nets and call it a trend?
Then the overly ripped jeans! I love ripped jeans, note I said loved not like. But someone thought the rip was not enough and this trend is now getting a little too far. There is a line dear readers, between chic and WTF. And some of those ripped jeans are on the other side of Wtf! Some of you are looking homeless out here with that craziness.
Ok, I was a bit skeptical about this, just because I understand to some it’s an attribute to Kurt Cobain’s oversize white sunglasses which he was photographed wearing just before his death, but damn! These should just remain cute in photographs, music videos and such. Not in the streets.
“These ain’t glasses, baby, these are Clout Goggles” well whatever, they need to go! They look like binoculars.
Actually urban dictionary defines them as “A pair of white sunglasses that mumble rappers wear”. Now they are ubiquitous, I guess clout chasing is the name of the game. If you have the level of confidence needed to pull it off, by all means rock it. Get your clout. Gucci head to toe
Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang
Seriously, I realized that just as much loving a brand can build it, it can as well destroy it. These Gucci menace has the brand looking tacky. Now the people who can afford it don’t want to buy the products for fear of being associated with knockoffs.
Even if it’s the real Gucci, you could wear one item or carry a bag only and I can assure you, we see it. No need going overboard with it. I must admit there are people who really pull it off. But still!
I wish you invested that amount of energy on African and black owned brands.
Is under-boob the new cleave or what? I didn’t get the memo. What do we call this? It’s like every day we are looking for some skin to expose, or how to expose it.
Under-boobs are not cute. At all! I don’t care how sexy you think you look. Take that admiration in front of your mirror and keep it there. There are plenty of things we would rather look at, like your eyebrows, am speaking for women of course.
The sneaker wedge
One word, fugly! From 2012 and we are still here with this ugly things. The knockoff version of the sneaker wedge is even uglier. And the excuse is that “they are comfortable, a good way to wear heels with a sporty outfit”. Comfort does not equal to ugly. Kindly “They are like popcorn Jelly Beans…just a terrible, gross idea; two things that should have never been conjoined!”
Leggings as pants
Is this still a debate? Then let us shut it down. Leggings are not pants. There are a new crop of thick leggings which can be worn with tunic shirts, over-sized denim jackets or even crop tops. That, I have no problem with. But these transparent leggings/tights are not pants.
Even if you wear them with a high low or tunic, chances are we are still going to see your camel toe or your choice of panty. Not everyone wants to know you on that intimate level. Please. Leggings are meant to be worn either as an active wear or as a layering piece.
Do you really need to be told that bike shorts are a no no? 2017 had its fair share of craziness. These shorts actually graced the pages of fashion magazines and tabloids. Please throw this style in the bin. It’s really upsetting and doesn’t make sense. No matter how you style it.
The gentlemen reading this article are like “women are crazy” well so are you. What’s with these rompers? Ati romphim. I understand that men suffer from lack of options in the fashion realm. But to wear rompers and skirts is a bit of a stretch.
I remember when I was in the internet trying to make sense of this trend, I came across a post here is an extract from it.
“The black community holds strict rules for how a man should dress or act…if a man decides to flat-iron his beard or follow the trend of wearing skinny jeans or rompers, he is often instantly characterised as being too feminine. In my opinion, when we put social norms on any individual it limits their freedom to self-expression, which could lead to not being accepted for who they are. The idea of not being accepted based on how one dresses or acts can cause low self-esteem, depression or putting on a mask [to hide] their real selves,”
“The insults hurled at black men who desire to participate in the romphim trend might seem solely disapproval for their fashion choice; however, it is reflective of much more. The reactions we have witnessed represent an additional level of social barriers to healthy black male identity development. It is directly related to their inability to connect emotionally with those around them and discourages them to seek mental health services. Until we lift these weights off the shoulders of black men, our community will continue to suffer. So by all means, let the man wear a romper and let that be that.”
Mental health? See this is the exact reason men must not be allowed to wear rompers. They are in their feelings like little kids. Gentlemen it’s not that deep, I promise. It’s just the same way you guys ridicule make up or our fashion choices. Stop being so butt hurt and trash that trend. Just like all jokes, this is getting stale, fast!
Kindly Share this article.
What are some of the fashion and beauty trends you can’t stand? Do share.
Credit: scroll in magazine
Image credit: Pinterest